So long, New York!

Later haters! Au revoir! Hasta la vista! Catch you on the flip side! It’s not goodbye, it’s see you later! I can figure out hundreds of ways to say goodbye to my summer in New York City, but it still doesn’t feel real. I can’t believe that my 10 weeks have passed so quickly, and am struggling to wrap my head around the fact that I’ll be back in Boston within 24 hours from now.

Today is my last day at my internship with the Mayor’s Office, and I’m very sad to go. I have learned so much more here than I could have ever anticipated, and truly enjoyed getting to know the people on my team. Never before have I been surrounded by so many people with values so similar to my own, able to have the social justice/city policy/government woes conversations around the water cooler that I’ve always dreamed of in the workplace. This opportunity has also helped me grow a tremendous amount professionally. I was struck by how much more confident I feel in asking questions now, as well as my confidence to ask for more work and take on projects that I don’t have the baseline skills for. Lastly, this internship helped me narrow my post-grad vision for May 2019 – what I see myself doing, who I want to be doing it with, and where in the world I see this future life taking place.

I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. Rather, this summer helped me identify what it is I liked about this experience, and this city, which will help me in my future job search. I definitely don’t like sitting at a desk all day, and would much rather spend the time shuffling between meetings or working flexible hours. I definitely do like working in the public sector, and am so geeked out about the prospect of continuing to work in government at any level. Most importantly, for me, is the realization that I don’t want to come back to New York right away when I complete my MPH.

My house in Connecticut is on the market, with my parents eyeing apartments on the Upper West Side so they can live out their big city dreams. I think I have come to terms with it, but am careful to begin that statement with “I think” because I anticipate an emotional breakdown around the holidays when we aren’t returning home to our comfortable Victorian in picturesque suburbia. Most of my memories are in that house, or associated with that house, and no matter how many times my Mom reminds me that our memories aren’t tied to the physical space, it feels so aggressively final that I probably won’t return to my childhood home after I head back to school.

Realistically, my parents will live in New York, along with most of my family friends, college friends and a number of my high school friends as well. My siblings are all over the map – D.C., Austin and L.A. – all places easily accessible via NYC airports. I know, deep down, that New York is the best city in the world. But is it the best city in the world for me to start a life? For me to launch a career, find love, create a network, make a home? I’ve visited different kinds of places all over the world, and I’ve lived in some of the greatest cities out there (New York, Boston, London, Copenhagen) but I can’t escape the nagging feeling that I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn’t go somewhere else.

New York will always be the best. It will always have vibrant people, amazing food, thriving music, and no shortage of adventure. The city streets will always pulse with life, even in the face of hardship and conflict. When people ask me which place I’ve liked living more – Boston or New York – I always find myself at a loss for words. Is there any real comparison? What Boston has given me is something New York never could, and yet I take comfort in knowing that New York City will always occupy its own separate space in my life.

I’m hoping that in this upcoming year at the School of Public Health opportunities will present themselves that will allow me to experience something different than what I’m used to. I’ve had recent fleeting thoughts that I played it safe by choosing to go back to the place that I know, taking the easy way out. It has taken mental coaching and encouragement of my friends to accept that this next year in Boston won’t be anything like my experience as an undergraduate. Although the city may not be new my experiences in it certainly will be, and it’s up to me to take this new challenge head-on. I feel myself slipping into corny sayings about self discovery and empowerment, so I’m going to end this post here.

Thank you to everyone who has made my summer in New York City so special. So long, NYC!